When I Become King…

There are a few things that will happen immediately when I become King. Using a cell phone in public will become a capital offense, for one (as will the sending of junk mail, spam e-mail and telephone solicitations, of course). The practices of law and insurance offices will be drastically altered, and doctors will be required to make house calls once again. I will probably institute a tax based on height; the taller you are, the more tax you pay (the NBA will be in extremis).

But perhaps the firstest thing to be done is the outlawing of telephone answering systems.

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